Wife wants to use strapon on me - worried or scared.

By Vincero · Man / Likes Women / Married

My wife and I have been married for > 20 years. Our sex life has been pretty hum-drum for a few years now, and we're down to sex about 1-2 times/week. I've been wanting to find something to spice it up - but my wife says she's pretty bored almost to the point of not caring. (and she almost always has an orgasm because if she doesn't cum while we're having sex, I eat her and masturbate her until she does.)

A week ago she told me that we will NOT have sex again until two things happen. First she wants me to give her at least a half hour rim job, and then she wants to fuck me with a strap-on until she cums.

If we cab keep it clean I told her I'll do analingus with her (I think the shower might be the best place), but I'm worried about the strapon. Make that a little scared.

From previous experience (my wife sometimes uses a vibrator in my butt when she gives me oral sex), I know that I have a very tight anus. 3/4" is the largest thing she's ever manged to work into there, and even that hurts a little. But she's already bought the harness and whole rig, and the dildo on it tapers from about 1" at the tip to about 1.6" mid-way through it.

Many years ago I tore my anus in a bike wreck had to have surgery to fix it. I DON'T want to go through that kind of pain again.

But my wife won't budge:

NO USE STRAPON ON ME = NO MORE SEX. PERIOD.

Help.

Reload
jMarie

jMarie / 28 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

Good for her for taking responsibility for fulfilling her own fantasies. I wish more women were like that. You are lucky to have her. Seriously, many, many men out there wish they had a wife who would do this for (to?) them.

I think you're going to have to go through with it. In light of your prior injuries, I would ask your wife if you could perhaps start with a smaller dildo attachment. If she refuses then you are going to have to stretch yourself out for a while beforehand. Use the dildo you have on yourself every day until you can take it easily, then switch to the larger one she has and just put it in a little deeper each day. When you can accommodate it without pain then you're ready to take her strap-on.

It would be a good idea to have her do a little reading on her own so she knows to go slow at first.

Also, tell her about male chastity play. She sounds like the type of woman who would really enjoy keeping you locked up and making you do kinky things. She's going to find out eventually so you might as well be the source. I think it would be just the thing to add that spice back into your love life.


Mscherrypie345

Mscherrypie345 / 20 / Woman / Likes Bisexuals / In a relationship

um i think you need to tell her that you would love to but because your worried about your health you are worried about it and compromise on the size tell her that you will agree to do it if she can get a smaller one that way you both get what you want. and if she says no just try to find something else to spice things up or just dont have sex. and every time you get horny just masturbate in front of her. because then she will possibly get turned on and just take it for herself . because if you tear you anus again it wont be good for either of you. because im sure if she had just given birth and you asked her to have sex 2 weeks after she would look at you like you are crazy.


GG

GG / 34 / Woman / Likes Women / Married

I am loving this lady! I agree with jMarie actually on everything.

However i have got to say that she has to take into consideration your previous health issues and not push that at all. There's one thing making a cry baby get on with the job but if you ave serious issues these need to be addressed and accmodated for.


Vincero

Vincero / Man / Likes Women / Married

Thank you: I apprecaite all - and agree with most of what all three of you have said.

And thank you GG for catching the health issue. I think it's the big problem.

But I did leave out inromation in my original post which I should have included. I already spoke with the colo-rectal specialist I use (a VERY open-minded woman) and she advises against it because the way I healed after the original surgery. (I'd need another surgery plus 16 weeks recovery time before I could safely start stretching.) My wife isn't instersted in waiting that long.

About "taking charge ... fulfilling" this is nothing new. We've both done that essentially the whole time we've been together. So making an off-the-wall request was pretty much normal for us.

The weird part is that there is something new here. We've never been into dominance/submission/etc, and whenever one of us really wanted to do something that the other really didn't, we negotiated. It was sort of an "I'll do A if you'll do B" situation, and it has worked for as long as we've been together. However, I think something else is going here, I'm not sure what it is, and she's not talking.

At this point I still don't see a good (and safe for me) solution on this one.

jMarie

jMarie / 28 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

Well, get her on here! Let us girls have a go at her. :) Maybe there is a deeper issue that has nothing to do with strap-ons. In fact, maybe she's just using the strap-on thing as a smokescreen because she KNOWS you won't go for it.

Vincero

Vincero / Man / Likes Women / Married

Sometimes I'm honestly beginning to suspect that's the root issue, too. A few months back she started refusing to let me give her oral sex, too. No explanation, and when we talked about it she said, "it's dirty" or "it's like letting a little dog lick me."

Vincero

Vincero / Man / Likes Women / Married

Sorry - got a glitch and the message closed.

Vincero

Vincero / Man / Likes Women / Married

Computer problem of some type I asume ...And the problem isn't that I'm bad at it - I've given her an orgasm with my mouth almost every time we've had sex, and she always seemed to like it.

jMarie

jMarie / 28 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

Wait a minute... how would she know what it feels like to have a little dog lick her?! OK, sorry. Yeah, that does sound like something's going on. Has anything changed in your lives? Maybe she's not feeling as attractiveor sexy as seh used to? Menopause? (Sorry, I don't know your ages so I'm just stabbing in the dark.)

jMarie

jMarie / 28 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

Of course, there is the sinister possibility she is having an affair or a v-fair (virtual affair) online. You'd know, though, right?

Mscherrypie345

Mscherrypie345 / 20 / Woman / Likes Bisexuals / In a relationship

i think you need to talk to her and ask her if this is because of something else and tell you you cant have anal because you will injure your self

 

Vincero

Vincero / Man / Likes Women / Married

Menopause + she has gained about 40 pounds. Plus she lost her job. I don't *think* she's having an affair either for real or on-line. But of course I don't really know for sure. I doubt it, though. We both feel strongly about "cheating". Many years ago (while in grad school) I was married to another woman who DID have an affair and ended up leaving with her (suddenly former) best friend's husband. I think I'd recognize he symptoms and there aren't any. (No dieting, no new underwear, no computer usage when I'm not around, and no "errands" that could be dates.

Mscherrypie345

Mscherrypie345 / 20 / Woman / Likes Bisexuals / In a relationship

i dont think she is cheating at all. and those three things are probably the root why she want to feel in control, because maybe she doesnt have control in her life at the moment. her body is doing what ever it wants and she doesnt have a job to do so she has no control. but it could be menopause that is making her feel this way. like mood swings sort of but its not all feelings that are rolling around she wants to try alot of new things. but i think you two should sit down and have a good talk about everything because this is something deep inside her that she needs to over come.

GG

GG / 34 / Woman / Likes Women / Married

The most obvious thing here is she is possibly suffering from depression and so doesn't want any attention given to her hence the "no oral sex" thing There is also the fact that she is wanting to control you, the last variable in her life that she can actually control. She needs to see a doctor to have a chat and you have got to tell her submissive or not everyone has their hard limits and you been pegged is one of them for health reasons.

 

Hala7ywan

Hala7ywan / Man / Likes Women / Single

I also want, but after that what persuaded my gf refused to do so for religious reasons, what can I do?


Signup or Login to join the fun.


ASK A QUESTION IN THE FORUMS Ask about Sex. Relationships. Dating.


POST IN THE FORUMS Sex. Relationships. Dating.


G Spot Video

G Spot Video