I have a Foot Fetish- But my Wife has ugly feet!!! Help!

By Bordercrosser · Man / Likes Men / Single

Hi. I have an extreme foot fetish, but my wife of 7 years has ugly, fat, stubby, flat, chronically dry feet. I mean, even after a pedicure and a soak, they are just barely OK, and then in a few hours the chronic dryness and roughness returns.
I sadly didn't take my fetish seriously when we married, and instead of it passing like I thought, it got stronger. We are otherwise happily married and also have two children, but I never achieve maximum orgasm without pretty, curvy, soft, high-arched feet to play with. Plus I do have an 8 incher and a unending sex drive. My wife also senses this dissatisfaction and often feels insufficient. It has driven me so wild to the point that currently I have paid hookers for strictly foot sex only on 4 occasions, and I also had a short affair with a hottie involving only foot sex and kissing. She got attached and we had to stop.
I want my wife to be happy, I want to be happy, and most of all I don't want to ruin my kid's lives because of a seperation. And my rational mind says a fetish fulfillment is not worth it.
What can I do do get rid of this fetish, and if I can't, do you see anything wrong with getting a mistress once in a while for foot sex ONLY, and if my wife never finds out?


Bordercrosser / Man / Likes Men / Single

Thanks for the quick reply, Gudgurl.
Honestly? If I found out my wife had a fetish and fulfilled it with someone else, it greatly depends on the fetish. My marital "innocence" is already gone, so I think I would have an easier time dealing with it. That is, depending on the fetish. For example, if her fetish involved or led to penetration with another guy, I would have a hard time, because I haven't done that to her. If she had oral sex with a guy, ehh somewhat difficult. If she had masturbation sessions with a woman, I would be ok. The thing is, she doesn't even masturbate and her sex drive is less than a quarter of mine, so I know it will never happen anyway. Just entertaining your suggestion.
If you are engaged to a guy like me and you have flat feet, please, for the sake of the future, make ABSOLUTELY sure that he views your feet as the sexiest feet he has ever seen, or YOU WILL struggle with him checking out others feet after the knot is tied. Trust me from experience, if that is all this post will be good for. It is possible that he preferres flat feet (unlikely), that his fetish is not nearly as strong as mine, or that he is just looking past it because the rest of you is more important, like I did before marriage.
Thanks for the advice on foot care, however, we have a 1 year old baby and my wife just doesn't have the time or the disipline to follow a soak schedule like that. We have actually tried before, and it just makes her feel more insufficient to do all that work to satisfy my fetish when her feet are still ugly like I mentioned.


Noname / Man / Likes Men / Single

I am in a similar situation and have been looking for advice for a long time. I am 28 and in a serious relations ship for 4 years. I have not expressed my fetish to my girlfriend but cannot think one day without picturing 100 beautiful, long toes, high arches and smooth soles. Everything else about women is secondary.
I have not talked to my girlfriend about it because my girlfriend’s feet are flat and other features do not match my dream feet characteristics either. It sounds like a crime saying that but I know all the foot fetishes who read this can understand. (Everyone else: don’t even try). She does take care of her feet well, would probably accept my fetish, is a wonderful, pretty, young lady, and would make a great mom. That is why I am so crazy about this problem,… but time is ticking if you know what I mean…. I am simply not sure if I can live for the next 40, 50 years not satisfying my fantasies as I dream of them. The worst of all is that I have never let my fetish out and am itching to just tickle, kiss, and lick all those sweet feet I see on a daily basis and dream of every time I go to bed. Not sure how much longer this goes well… She deserves the best and I feel guilty for this possibly being a time bomb sure to go off one day or me not being able to show her that she is everything I need (especially as her feet are not terrible, maybe a 5 on 1-10 as teenagers would categorize it) Not sure if 5 to me is good enough for the rest of my life. I realize some guys out there think that’s OK, some (guys and girls) won’t understand what my problem is and are disgusted by this post but, I also know that some people (guys and girls) feel or felt similar and can understand. For those of you who can, I would really appreciate any advice? Any experience? Any help?


Bordercrosser / Man / Likes Men / Single

Listen to me, bud- if you don't already have kids with her, my advice is to man up and end it NOW. I am telling you, it is better for both of your lives. You CAN find what you want, nobody is going to hand it to you. I learned this too late. All women have feet, you CAN find a girl with sexy feet that has all the same positive traits you mentioned, and better. If you find a girl with sexy feet chances are she appreciates a man who loves them, and your dreams can come true. I used to have many erotic dreams like you mentioned, and the first year of marriage was THE WORST. The dreams were so intense, I used to wake up wanting to walk out the door, leave my wife and start all over. It was a terrible, awful feeling of regret. I know EXACTLY how you feel. But I didn't want to accept my error, and man up. I didn't think I deserved what I wanted. This is what our culture and society has done to us. It made us put moral restrictions on ourselves that caused us to ruin our own persuit of happiness.
I no longer have those dreams, but my wife still constantly has lucid dreams where I cheat on her, even before I ever did! Now, I have developed a double life. It is horrible, I go to work, constantly thinking about other girls, checking out their feet and wondering if they would like to get them kissed or rubbed by my cock. I go home and automattically forget about all the adultery I committed and pretend she is my only.
Son, listen to me, man up now, don't make your life a sexual nightmare with no escape. I am 33. I was 25 when I married. I was there. And you will be where I am. Don't give a f*ck what your family or ppl that don't have a fetish say. Make a lucky girl with pretty feet feel like she is in heaven, and you will be there, too.


Noname / Man / Likes Men / Single

I believe your advice and really appreciate you passing on your experience. You are probably one of the very few people who can understand and feel for this situation. I can see how you live two different lives and how emotions and frustrations have built up. As foot fetishes, we are fortunate on one side that we can see our “titties and vaginas” uncovered all day walking around; on the other hand it can be a torture if you never get to touch any of the ones you dream about once you are home. Even though my relationship situation is different than yours, I feel exactly what you feel about not getting your dream fulfilled.
I know it sounds wired asking that but, as a teenager, I was crazy about boobs too like every youngster who watches magazines but hasn’t gotten a girl yet ;). Of course feet were always a desire, since childhood, but boobs did turn me on as well. Now, since I have a girlfriend with amazing boobs this drive went down because I now have what I once desired and couldn’t get. I still love her boobs and love playing with them, but they are not what my world is all about every day; feet still are though. Did you notice your desires changed once you started satisfying your sexual dreams with feet (of your ex-girlfriends for example?) That once you play with, kiss, and worship feet, they don’t become that important anymore? For me, the desire for this experience is unbearable at times (only getting stronger over the last years) and I feel like a 20 year old virgin who is working as a lifeguard on a naked beach.
The other part that rationalizes to settle for “less feet” is following thought: How many people in the world end up with a smoking hot wife? One that you see in porn and TV shows. – Not many. Most husbands will have a wife less attractive than TV stars and therefore desire to sleep/be with another women. Then how can I expect different about getting TV star feet and not to desire other women? Yes, I realize there is not much competition for high arches and perfect toes, so the market should still have plenty of them available; additionally, because 90% of the Americans don’t have smoking hot wives shouldn’t be the reason why should not I strive for one but you know what I mean? I see your point though, especially since there are many girls with unbelievable hot feet for which most people don’t care. Maybe I don’t face the issue and rationalize too much! Maybe I am just too weak to see true values and am misguided by sex drives… That is the part that is confusing me.
It is hard to follow your guidance but know it will probably save a lot of difficulties in the future, even though it would be terrible and heartbreaking in the short run. It is especially hard if your girlfriend is a sweetheart and cares for you like no other. Four years is a long time I do love her and want her in my life , yet many times a day I wish, either her feet were a little different or it never had gotten to the point that I have this guilt feeling about the question “are feet more important than our relationship” which most people could never understand. It is tough. I keep telling myself that superficial, and esthetics shouldn’t matter if you truly love someone. Yet, sexual drive is not an easy opponent to fight and probably, even if you win, in the short run, not healthy in the long run, for either party.
I do believe I have to give it a try and worship her feet to see what my sexual satisfaction can be with her feet before doing anything else. It would be easier though to do that if her feet were everything I wanted. I hate myself for not having experienced any feet worship in the past either with previous girlfriends or college hook ups, but you probably know the reason why. This situation sucks….
Unfortunately I don’t know how I can be of any help to you. Let’s put feet aside for a moment though…. You are still in the same boat is many Americans at the age of 33. It shouldn’t be this way, and yes, it could have been prevented with making better decisions (like most things). Other husbands don’t complain about feet, but may complain about other, much worse things. Nevertheless, they stay together for the children’s sake, or because they are scared of separation. Either way, believe me their sexual needs are just as unsatisfied as yours and mine. I am not sure how I can advise you. 100 different people would do 100 different things in your situation and I am sure you have spent the last 7 years thinking about different plans and alternatives (that’s what I would do). Maybe she would be willing to meet with another couple where all four of you could meet to get your sexual desires fulfilled (given you talk open about everything) seems to me like the only attempt to satisfy your needs, not cheat, and be a good husband and dad. Thanks to the internet I think it is possible to arrange that, given your wife is OK with it. Yet, I am sure the situation is much more difficult than I can imagine and it is all easier said than done. Despite all the hurdles, it is still worth a try if you can see only the smallest chance of that becoming a solution for everyone. To argue, think about what she could get out of it and how you can make some of her fantasies come true with that idea (pressure with an ultimatum not being an option though). I am just trying to help with some thoughts but I am sure it has crossed your mind before. A more costly way, but possibly one that could help, is professional consultation. Another start would be finding someone you can meet with who is in the same situation. Definitely telling your best friend or people you can trust will help, which I yet have to do…. (What are your thoughts on the above?)
At the end, the question is: Is it a greater risk living the life you live or is it a greater risk, risking everything you have to possibly live the live that fulfills you. I was told, happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have which is quite hard if sex drives tell you different about 125 times a day. In your situation, for the kids’ and your wife’s sake, I would do everything I can to satisfy my sexual desires with keeping your wife and children happy instead of having your sexual drives ruin all 5(?) of your life’s. With that said, openness probably lasting the longest. You and I will know (at least I hope) when the moment comes when change has to happen. I guess life is too short to waste time, but it is also long enough to correct mistakes.
I know I am not really in a position to give advice and am just trying help out with some food for thought on my end as I really appreciate your advice. I should have started much earlier searching for answers, expressing my desires, or talking to a friend. It is good to share thoughts and I thank you for your input. I hope you and others can post more thoughts, experience, and advice.


Bordercrosser / Man / Likes Men / Single

Absolutely agree that more people need to post their thoughts on this thread- ESPECIALLY LADIES, preferrably ones who have engaged in foot play.
Woah, that was a HUGE post, sheesh, do you write novels or something?
We are shockingly alike in our thinking. Perhaps it is the like mindset that is already present that is likely to cause a fetish in the first place. Being analytical will cause you to constantly search for something sexually different and exciting.
I too, cycled through all the female physical preferences during my teenage years. Boobs, Pussy, all the common things. I also rationalized when I was in your situation that feet is only another phase and love is stronger. Also, my wife is exactly as you describe your girlfriend- VERY loving and nurturing of me, and still is to this day. I know how extremely abnormal it is to just break up with someone like this, but I am telling you, foot fetish in the way we have it IS NOT A PHASE, and if I could do it over I would definitely start with a girl that has sexy feet.
I can prove that it is not a desire that merely dissapears after you get it. I get footjobs from my wife as regularly as we have sex. Her feet are very mediocre, but she moves them well. Every time we have sex, it gets harder and harder for me to get excited by penetration alone, and more and more she needs to finish me off with her feet. The feeling and satisfaction of it is undescribable. You see, even with her ugly feet, a footjob is still desired for satisfaction. It is not a phase, my man. Now if I had a girl with sexy feet, I would be super satisfied just to have those perfect feet on my face and in my mouth during penetration. And she wouldn't have to feel insecure about it like my wife does, and she would be better pleased.
Stop analyzing, this is what it is, guy.
And also, my wife doesn't even accept the fact that occasionally I masturbate because she wants me only to think of her when I orgasm. Everytime. Yes, she is that sexually naive, even though she is married to me. You have no idea. If I told her everything I think, it would destroy her and she might leave me voluntarily. So getting another couple involved is absolutely out of the question.
Thanks for responding again, and




Bordercrosser / Man / Likes Men / Single

Gudgirl- really you have been very insulting with your comments and I prefer not to read them. First you assumed that me saying my wife's toes are fat stubby and ugly as some kind of delusion to justify seeing a hooker. Wrong! How would you like it if you needed a man with some muscles to be sexually excited, but you made a bad judgement call and married a fat man? And then I came out pretending to understand and told you it is your problem that you are not turned on by his fat?
Really, don't pretend to consult when you really don't get it. Also, it is very ignorant to say that you are the only female who has foot fetish experience who regularly uses this site. How absurd. Really? You REALLY think you know EVERYONE who regularly uses this site? Come on. Now you are misleading by saying that your previous post was actually by your fiancee??? That is not helpful, reasonable and fair, that is condescending and ignorant.


Leema / Woman / Likes Men / Single

I feel so sad after reading this because it hits too close to home.

I am in a relationship with the most amazing man I have ever met, he is 37 and I am 27,we've been together for a year and I know he adores me. However, I know my feet do not satisfy his minor foot fetish, he tells me I have pretty feet and he wants me to wear anklets and take care of them often so that's not a bad sign, but that doesn't change the fact that I know they're not sexy.

For now that is fine because he doesn't need feet to climax, perhaps because the rest of my body is distracting him (I'm told I'm exceptionally beautiful except for those average legs and feet), or perhaps his fetish is not extreme, maybe he really does find them beautiful and I'm just being insecure which I hope is the case, but he doesn't lick them or play with them like my ex-boyfriend used to, nor does he take pictures of them like he used to do with his ex-girlfriends.

My questions is, can a foot fetish develop and become more prominent with time? And is there anything I can do to discourage this fetish from becoming more significant?

I love him so much but if he's going to end up sad like you then I should let him go.

I am so sad,


Bordercrosser / Man / Likes Men / Single

Just pay attention to where his eyes are looking when you go out to places. If you see a pretty woman in heels or sandals or flip flops before he does, secretly watch his eye behavior. If he immediately pans down to look at her feet, and you see him do it multiple times in the same night, his foot fetish is probably strong. If he doesn't feel the need to check out feet when he is out with you, I would say he has it under control. By no means was I saying that all people with foot fetishes have it get stronger and stronger as they age, hell no. That is just what happened in my case. It probably also has to do with my poor self disipline and exposing myself to fetish porn often. If you make him happy and keep him away from porn, I think there is a good chance for a fetish to fade away.


Sexpert / Woman / Likes Men / Single

Your fetish is a deep rooted addiction. It can be lessened by focusing on something else about your wife that you do enjoy. Her lips, butt, hips, whatever. You can rewire your brain slowly and steadily to lessen the power your fetish has over you. Like a tree that needs nutrients to grow, when you think about feet, focus on feet, masturbate thinking of feet etc you feed the fetish tree. Focus on your wife and what it is you fell in love with. Masturbate to that. Fantasize about her. Also you might need a psychologist to gently guide you through this. I have seen this work first hand. You want a healthy garden. Not one where one tree is sucking the life out of everything else. It's all about balance. You can do this!!!!


Slmsloslider / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

I have a question for YOU...
My boyfriend of about 9 months now has a major foot/shoe fetish. He has been very attracted to me from the get go (pursued me aggressively) and is a loving, sweet fella who adores me. However, the great sex we were having the first 5 months or so has dwindled due to his inability to stay hard & his self consciousness about it. He has admitted to me that he finds my feet "pretty" but not his "ideal"...in the beginning he gave them lots of attention when we fooled around (he had not had sex/a girlfriend for many years prior) so I am worrying that his interest at first was just due to being with a gal & her feet IN GENERAL after so long. Now that the newness has worn off, is he realizing he just can't get excited over my "imperfect" feet? I know he masturbates regularly to foot/shoe related porn - which I have no problem with, aside from the fact that it proves he CAN get it up, just not with me, apparently :( FYI I keep good care of my feet, I'm a size 8 shoe (the rest of me is petite and in great shape), get manicures almost weekly, but admittedly have low (but not flat) arches, short-ish toes and small toenails. Can having an "imperfect" (to a fetishist) foot - while not an UGLY foot - cause a fetishist to loose sexual interest in someone they love? I've never dated someone with a fetish before. But I am a very open-minded, laid-back person who loves to have fun/explore with her partner sexually...so the reason isn't me being a stick-in-the-mud ;)


Latinlover2006 / Man / Likes Women / Single

I am going through something similar right now as well. Right now I am in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. My girlfriend is pretty and has a beautiful personality as well as decent body. However, she has ugly feet. I am struggling with trying to decide if it's something I can live with. If I can overlook that and accept her just as she is. I figure there is a difference between love and lust. Lust will be an unatural desire that will never go fufilled, while love is a bond that is strong, "Unconditional" and fufilling. My ex-girlfriend has sexy feet with sexy arches that wrinkled up when she pointed her toes. It was a beautiful thing. However, she has such an ugly personality and we could never agree on anything which would end up in vicious fights and arguments.


Raye / Woman / Likes Men / Single

This is an old post, but I'd thought I share a few things.
First off if you guys care that much about your wife/ girlfriend feet, why not save up money to get them the arch surgery? However I have to say most female won't go that far for a man who can't love them for who they are. The surgery are for people with extram flat foot that cause them pain. Foot fetish isn't a normal thing and so isn't being flat footed. Think of it as a deformation that you are born with, however seems like she accepted your flaws but you can't accept hers. If anything foot fetish is more taboo then flat foot and most women are turned off by a man with such fetish. If you happen to find a women who enjoys foot play without you having to pay her for her to do it with you, then you are a lucky man.
You're lucky your fetish is something that is legal, I knew a guy whos fetish is pedophilpa! He can never act on it, not even pay someone to help him with his needs. He still try to live a normal life and choose not to act out just because he cant satisfiy his fetish.
I think you should be honest with your wife, I'm sure she already knows there's something wrong. Let her know you have a big problem with her feet that maybe even surgery can't fix, however let her know that you still love your family and will provide for them the same or even more if she allows you to have foot sex with other women. If you're paying other women for sex, you might as well pay your wife to let you have a mistress that enjoys foot play. However, like I said it will be hard to find a women with nice feet who also accepts your fetish.
Everyone else who have GFs who have ugly feet, please let them know there is plastic surgery and that YOU are willing to pay for it if she gets it. As for girls, DO NOT get the surgery if you don't want it! Don't ever get plastic surgery for a man that you're not sure if you'll end up with in the future. Don't go through the pain unless you also feel your foot needs a makeover and the man is willing to pay for it!

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