She's not into sex anymore!

By IamAcadian2012 · 35 / Man / Likes Women / In a relationship

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for eight months now. At the begining we were in a long distance relationship and used to see each other only on weekends. Sex was amazing back then and we used to do it at least 3 to 5 times over the weekend. Two months ago I moved to the city she lives in and all of a sudden she lost interest in sex. I almost feel like she's taking me for granted and sex is the last thing on her mind. I asked her about if there's anything wrong and she accused me of treating her like an object as I tried to talk about sex. I take sex as an indication that everything is going well in the relationship and if this keep going like this, this is going to end badly. On the other hand she is not going to have sex with me until she feels close enough to me again beacuse she was "turned off" when I asked her about our lack of sex in our relationship. I really don't want to act immatured about it and handle it like an adult..please help. Thanks in advance.

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TrueLoveSwallows

TrueLoveSwallows / Man / Likes Women / Single

This is more of a critique than being of help in getting your problem solved but it is a subject that has always mystified me and makes me want to rant. The sex object thing is a bunch of shit. It goes back a long way and I haven't a clue as to who first uttered it but it is an absolutely insane statement. There are a tremendous amount of things that you and her do together that you could just as easily do and enjoy with a friend. So what is it that you can share with her that you don't share with your friends? Of course you want her for sex because it is the special part of the male/female relationship. Unless you go to see her, fuck her, and then leave, her statement is truly unwarranted and rude. I'm sure sex it is not the only thing you enjoy with her and perhaps you could remind her of it a bit more. Sex is a very small part of a relationship but when it is missing it becomes the most important part. So by shutting you off, she is just making sex that much more important to you than anything else you do together. Something you should drive home as thoroughly as you can is that she is NOT "giving" you anything when the two of you have sex. It is an experience that you both SHARE. When you are having sex with her you are giving her your love. If she can't understand that, then maybe its time to move on. I would hate to think of having to be in a long term relationship with any woman that pulls that sex object bull shit. What should really bother her is if she learns you no longer want to give her your love because she doesn't appreciate it or deserve it. She is not the only woman in the world with a pussy and there are a lot of lonely women out there who would love to share sex with a partner.


CB

CB / 31 / Woman / Likes Men / Married

I get the fact that sex has slowed down since you no longer are apart all the time and like Adrian said there's less pent up sex desire so you should definitely expect less sex because of this but the fact that she got upset because you asked about it does not make sense at all. I'm guessing she must be significantly younger than you because I don't see a woman in her thirties or forties getting upset by your inquiry. I'm sure she is also looking for some sort of romance and she's wanting you to sweep her off her feet since it probably feels like a whole new relationship again for her since technically you guys have been in a long distance relationship for so long. Treat her like you just met her and are trying to attract her - she will definitely respond better. Good Luck!!


Doesn't Know Much

Doesn / Bisexual / Likes Bisexuals / Single

~~~~The following is advice from someone with limited experiance~~~~

Well firstly,doing it that often is probably a little excessive for a normal relationship, but that aside, don't TRY to have sex,if you two happen to start getting into it,well good,but don't make your actions for the purpose of trying to have sex,that's a bad thing to do in any relationship. Second, again,put all sex aside,and be more lovey dovey with her, hold her more then usual without pushing it and trying to get in her pants,and other things in general,if she pushes away from you,then I would ask her what's wrong.

If you're NOT trying to have sex,and she still pushes away with you,I would probably end it,I know what it's like to be in a relationship where you don't even like them any more.

Maybe best thing to do would be not listen to me at all LOL, but that's my take on things,hope this helps.
Yours sincerely,
David.


Zee

Zee / 24 / Woman / Likes Men / In a relationship

Hi, If you truly like this girl dont just end it!!!! that sounds like the easy option a user might do once hes not getting what he wants anymore. i feel this needs a woman's answer and advice or a couple for that matter as im only one option. but personally i can see what she may be thinking and where shes coming from. Just like you say you need sex for the security of knowing everything is ok we need the affection or attention for the same reasons and sometimes that doesn't involve sex. All i heard so far when you see her on the weekends is you guys having a bunch of sex. Sounds like she would like a little more. i suggest taking her out on a dinner date, treat her to a in home movie without any suggestion of wanting sex that night perhaps suggest just cuddling that night and i bet it will probably turn into sex anyway. Shes just looking to be reassured that shes wanted and appreciated by you. Give her the od complement or passionate hug/kiss. When sex is all we get from a partner we can become a little insecure that we are being used. Hope that helps :)

Adrian (resident A-hole)

Adrian / 31 / Man / Likes Couples / Married

girls are a strange breed.........too much emotion involved with them!

 

Loner 23

Loner / 25 / Man / Likes Bisexuals / Single

why the heck would she accuse you of treating her like an object? Thats dumb. I dont think you did anything wrong just by asking her if everything was okay and to ask her how come sex has slowed down. it isnt an insult to ask that. dumb. I wouldnt say break up with her because of that because maybe she is stressed out about something. But sex is a huge part of relationships and if she isnt gonna express sex with you then it will pretty much show what your sex life for the future holds.


Adrian (resident A-hole)

Adrian / 31 / Man / Likes Couples / Married

ok, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but end it. if she all of a sudden stops having sex w/ u, then end it. now if you're just noticing that you don't have as much sex as before, well duh! i mean yeah, used to only see each other on weekends. now you see each other a lot more, and that means less pent up sexual desire.


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